We were only supposed to sneak into the slum so we could go see the finished church built right in the middle of it. I say sneak, bec there is still alot of tension & violence happening to Christians, by a Hindu extremist group. The church was beautiful. A great place for people & kids to come & be educated & learn about Jesus. Then we were supposed to get back to our hotel, but the pastor made an unexpected stop. Mind you by now it's pitch dark & we're in the middle of a 8 mile radius of slums, if not more. So I have my mono pod to use as a weapon if things go south. He took us to a hut where one of the kids sponsored through mission of mercy lives. I was kinda irritated to be there. Maybe because I was tired & hungry, Maybe because we had by now drawn a crowd that was surrounding us at this hut, & the ladies were inside but I was the only 1 that couldn't fit inside. Indian's have no concept of personal space bubbles. Absolutely NONE! So I am being pressed upon by people outside. It took everything within me to not flip out. God did check my heart in that moment. I have to be honest & transparent. I have lived in India before & have seen all these things. So forgive me if I'm a little jaded. But in that moment at this little boy's hut, I was disgusted with my level of compassion. So much so I could have thrown up! I call myself a Christian? Yeah right... Jesus would have sat in their hut & talked with a mother who was grieving the loss of her other son. All I cared about was my comfort. I am ashamed to admit this, but I believe God was showing me my heart in that moment.Not condemn me, but to grow me. I was so ashamed of what I saw I wanted to hide it. Know one must ever know. But duh! God knows. & He still loves me. Ugliness & all. Although we were in a potentially unsafe situation, he was watching over us. God is working on my heart condition. I need it. I feel sometimes the American church has got the motions to perform Christianity as may seem down. But where's our heart in all of this? think about it.... thoughts? I'm tired but that's what I wanted to get off my chest. I'm ugly inside, but my God trades beauty for ashes! wow I am posting some more pics below. I must warn you, some are of the violence that has happened up here over the last 2 weeks. They are disturbing. You've been warned. I'm out.
2 comments:
PR:
WOW!!! First of all my prayers are with you and the team of women you are with. God, I'm sure, is doing a work and is greatly pleased with the work that you all are doing. Seeing what is taking place there makes life as we know it here in Sunny Mansfield very easy. Each person suffers in their own way and go through different trials but the trials that have been encountered by those you are reaching out to ---AMAZING---it gives new meaning to God's AMAZING GRACE.
As for the ugliness that He has allowed you to see in yourself, well, exposure is good for a wound, and at times, like most wounds the scab needs to be ripped away to for the sake of recall. We all forget that we have some ugly spots in our interior that need to be cleaned up. I guess exposing that ugliness helps us cleanse it (atleast some of it) so that we can grow.
Thanks for the reminder that God is Awesome and in this place where life is so unlike the ones we experience He is present, powerful, mighty and merciful.
-Debra Hughes
Rabu! My mom gave me your blog site so I could keep up with your trip....I'm really impressed with the things you've talked about and shown in your pictures. Things that I never even think about in my safe bubble here in Ohio. Stay safe and I'll keep you in my prayers. Love ya!
Nee Nee
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